A Story Worth Sharing

I've always believed life begins at conception. But I believe it more now than ever before. Here is a story worth sharing.

We had waited so long for a baby to join our family. In May 2011, we found out that we were expecting - what a huge blessing! We were ecstatic! Even in those early weeks, we loved that baby, talked to, and prayed for him/her.

We already had plans in the works to visit some of my family, so we saved the news to share in person. We also told Shawn's family over Skype. I don't know that anyone has even been as overjoyed at the news of a baby than our family. It was the most joyous time I have ever experienced, other than our wedding weekend.

Towards the end of the month, we had an ultrasound and the doctor was somewhat concerned and asked us to come back in a few days. We did, and found out that the baby didn't have a heartbeat yet, and he/she should have had a heartbeat by that time. The doctor told us I would miscarry, and we left the office with heavy hearts. The next day was our 5th wedding anniversary, and it was difficult to celebrate what should have been a wonderful anniversary because of our grief.

A few months later at church, the pastor was preaching on the book of Ruth. He asked us to close our eyes and picture ourselves running to the arms of Jesus. I cannot remember what that had to do with the story of Ruth or the sermon, but I remember closing my eyes and seeing Jesus. The image in my mind was more of a large figure, mainly his arms and hands - I couldn't see his face. And standing next to him was a little girl. Immediately I had a feeling that it was our child. I couldn't see her face, but I knew who she was.

Several days later, as I was reading my Bible, I heard this in my mind: "Her name is Hannah." I wasn't reading anything in the Bible about Hannah, nor was I thinking about our lost child. It just came out of the blue.

What is really amazing is that Hannah was the girl's name I had chosen years ago. I had recently changed my mind though, and had selected another girl's name to use. But the Lord was letting me know that I wasn't saving Hannah's name anymore because that name had been given to our little girl.

Our lost, but loved, child had not come very far in her earthly development, but I was given a glimpse of her and she was a real, whole person in heaven. I've tried to recreate her image in mind ever since, but the image doesn't come to my mind. I feel like I was given special vision from God. I'm astounded to think that God would take time to show me that she is alive with Him in heaven. That life really is there in the womb, even though it might not "look" like a human early in the development.

We didn't get to spend much time with Hannah, and we never got to meet her, but we never stop missing her. She has impacted our lives in a major way. We have known the joy of expecting a child. We have known the deep grief of losing a child. We have learned to trust in the Lord in such an extreme way because we couldn't handle the sorrow on our own. While we're not happy that she's gone, we're thankful for the lessons we have learned through our pain and the closeness we feel with Jesus.

This past Christmas season was a hard time in our lives. It would have been Hannah's first Christmas with us, and the days were bittersweet. But we have a hope that we'll see her someday, and her story gives us a reason to share with others our belief in life from the very beginning and how the Lord led us through a dark valley.

In memory of Hannah, please think about the preciousness of life.

Hannah would have turned 1 year old today. We will always love her and will never forget her.